Does Shane Need a Personal Assistant?

I've begun to campaign on my other blog for a spot at 1UP. I figure with people leaving and such the company is in need of a glue to hold the team together. That glue is of course Shane Bettenhausen, Man of Gods! Shane needs an assistant, and I am the go getter for the job. I know you people read this, so make it happen!

We moved

I love Shane so much I'm brought him with me. Expect weekly updates on everyone's favorite 1UP network staffer...besides Jen Tsao...and Scott Sharkey...and Jeremy Parish. Where can you find these new updates? That'd be at my brand spankin' new video game blog found here!


Same great Shane coverage, more actual news!

Pregnant Man's Baby-Juice-Donor Comes Forward

Thanks to some detective work, I have uncovered who exactly impregnated the manly woman who has been making the talk show rounds as any attention whore looking for their 15 minutes of fame might. While the name of the donor will remain guarded, I have permission to use a photo of the gentleman:

When pressed for comment "Shane" as he will be known to protect his identity stated: "This may sound surprising, but I've made bigger mistakes than this, did you know I'm wanted in Japan for gross human rights violations?"

Hey Shane!

Can you say something mildly controversial so I can watch the message boards get pissy? Please? I guess I can make something up, like:

"Shane Bettenhausen says anyone who plays Final Fantasy Crisis Core is a pansy!"

"Blonde hair and blue eyes is the way it was meant to be" -Shane

"Smash Bros. Brawl was made for six year olds and guys who live in their parent's basement who paint those little figurines and sing along to j-pop having no idea what the actual lyrics mean"

C;mon, say something!

What I learned from 1Up Yours

Shane is not a fan of scanning crime scenes for semen stains. 

Has Shane Abandoned Us?

It has been almost two weeks without word from Shane. Is he ever coming back? WE may have reviews from him but nobody wants those. We want Shane giving us the wacktastic views we have grown to love. We better not have another week of just Garnett. We need you Shane, I need you Shane!

Shane gets hot, then shot, then CPR, he doesn't survive

Sure you can read Shane's full review here, but I'll cut out teh fluff and just post the important bits below in a segment I'd like to call "Shane-Sized Reviews"

 Hot Shots Golf expertly dumbed down the snooty sport. The potential for loose controllers shattering pricey HDTVs seems high. This game should have extra-long legs. Dare we dream? Final Grade: B